replica of nostalgia (2024)


7x4
installation
The work aims to be a deconstructed version of the digital works, both through its own materials as well as the reaction and impact on the industrial environment it existed in. Where materials exist without others giving them purpose – cables without anywhere to go, fences with nothing to hold, flowers with nowhere to grow etc.

I wanted the installation to reference the digital works, which themselves are constructed out of purposeful industrial and organic elements arranged in a way that symbolizes the archaic attempts by humans to overcome nature and the decay of human created systems through new combinations which render them useless and absurd.

---

In 2024 my friend and part-time mentor Paul Hodgson invited me to participate in an exhibition with him. I presented several works alongside my first installation work made in collaboration with Giulia Moliariov.

Installation:

* Materials: Wood, Mirror Film, Cables, Chickenwire, Curtains, Flowers, Steel
* Designed and built within three weeks


Exhibition:

14–18th of May 2024
Curated by Paul Hodgson
5 day showcase of painters, printmakers, movie makers, performance artists and musicians
Including works from Radhika Khimji, Mariana Mauricio, Paul Hodgson & myself


BUTZI/ BLOWING UP THE WORLD FROM MY BACKYARD (2024)


30 minute documentary
In a culture increasingly centred on individualism, Blowing up the universe from my backyard (2024) represents my attempt toward redefining happiness within capitalistic societal pressures for success - not in distant, unattainable goals, but in togetherness, and love - dismantling them right from my own backyard.

The documentary is a critical observation and celebration of the duality of life, focusing on the tension between what could have been and the acceptance of what is.

I was inspired by engaging with various works and films (see page 48) that explore themes of aging and death. While many of these works conveyed a profound sense of sadness, I aimed to present an alternative perspective. Positivity which is found within constraints through love.


Do differently? Hard to say...nothing really, you probably just make the same mistakes again...

This opening statement sets the tone for the stories included throughout the work. It represents my grandmother’s awareness of accepting life as it is, knowing that the decisions she has made are likely the best she could have made

The film has various chapters focusing on consequential moments and decisions which are contrasted against each other in an attempt to grasp the intricate complexities that define one’s own life. Stories, such as my grandmother ending her first engagement, and living with a sense of regret as she imagines

an exciting alternative to the stable calm life she is currently living, are crucial in understanding the happiness we see her express later about the life path she ended up choosing.

Throughout these chapters it becomes clear that most of their happiest memories have been created together. That both never fit together perfectly has been amended by them building a family into which they both fitted perfectly.

In Germany, the countryside often symbolizes old values like family and tradition, while cities represent opportunity and ambition. Such divisions risk undermining the democratic fabric of society. I believe it is important to see how people in tightly defined circumstances can find happiness in life through accepting the decisions they have control over and the ones they don’t. This work aims to serve as a reminder to my generation - and myself - that professional and creative self fulfilment are a gifted possibility we need to appreciate but not lose ourselves in.

I avoided the conventional pace and storytelling structures of documentaries, aiming instead for a natural, familiar "family" flow. Inspired by Gasoline Rainbow and conversations with its writers and directors, I adopted an audio- forward approach. This allowed me to freely piece together dialogue, create unexpected connections, and emphasize the repetitive nature of certain life topics by contrasting or overlaying similar conversations.

The structure mirrors how we remember those closest to us— not through linear narratives but as an accumulation of

fragmented moments, emotions, and impressions. Major life events are touched on lightly, while ordinary moments gain unexpected significance, revealing a profound beauty in the unseen gestures that shape our lives. My filmmaking process reflected this partial, ephemeral understanding, capturing the truth in the ordinary.

In recent years, the documentary genre has faced ethical critiques, particularly for exploiting or dramatizing subjects’ stories for entertainment. Rejecting this, I sought an authentic, intimate portrayal that resonates with my

generation's desire for sincerity. Avoiding dramatic storytelling or invasive personal details, I focused on the motivations and impacts of life events, reflecting deeply on their meaning.

To address modern pacing challenges, I experimented with editing to maintain viewer interest while staying true to the reflective, fragmented nature of memory. By doing so, I aimed to contribute to evolving documentary practices and offer a piece that invites viewers to engage deeply with life’s intricacies.